I’ve wanted to write something like this for some time now, but I never found the right way to go about it. Maybe, since no one actually reads my blog, this might be good enough of an opportunity.
I have been alive for 24.5 years, as of last week. I have been single for that entire time. And I am lonely. I hate it. I hate it because it sucks. I remember every stinging rejection and every girl who ever passed me over for someone else. I keep going back and forth between contentment and discontentment, sometimes letting my circumstances give me an excuse for not having joy, and I don’t really know where I am now.
But you know what really gets under my skin? When people try to say that a relationship with Jesus is the only relationship you need in life. This doesn’t seem right to me. They make it sound as if being a Christian means you shouldn’t need anything more. We still need food, right? Even though we have the Living Water, don’t we still need regular water? I’m pretty sure anyone would die without those things, spiritual maturity or no. So why would our psychological and emotional needs be any different?
Consider this: Genesis 2:18 says, “And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” This happened during a time when Adam enjoyed the kind of fellowship with God that we can hardly imagine. Yet, God saw that Adam was lonely. Adam was designed from the very beginning to need a woman in his life.
The fact of the matter is that mankind was intended to have a variety of different relationships. I have friends of all degrees; I have a Mother in Sacramento; I have a Dad in Heaven; I have siblings; I have had a boss in the past, along with co-workers. God did this for a purpose: Our relational needs are intended to be a reflection of the various ways God relates to us. God is like a Mother (Isa. 66:13), a Father (Heb. 12:7-9), a friend (John 15:13-15), and a spouse (Rev. 19:7-9). We were meant to have all those other relationships in addition to a relationship with God so that we could better understand who God is and what He does for us.
What happens when someone doesn’t have one of those relationships? Just as a person will go hungry if he goes without food, so he who lacks certain relationships in life will generally become lonely.
And then there are those who try to comfort and encourage people like me by reminding us that God will never leave us. I KNOW. I get it. I don’t want to sound like God’s presence isn’t an important part of my life – it just doesn’t solve my problem. I can’t touch God. I can’t hold God’s delicate hand in mine. I can’t hold God close to me, or get lost in the sound of God’s voice (at least, not yet). And now I’m wondering if I’ll ever have those experiences with anyone.
Anyways. That’s me right now. I’ve probably only made things worse since the ladies only want a guy who has self-confidence and I’m telling my entire audience (both of you) that I’m all out of that, but whatever.
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