Life Lessons

Duct tape fixes everything.
Five Iron Frenzy was the best Christian band ever.
$400 is way too much to pay for a ping-pong table.
You should always carry a pen, only single people are good at Minesweeper.
A warm chocolate chip cookie could probably solve most of the world’s problems.
Anchorman.
Just because you can sing doesn’t mean you should.
Just because you can’t sing doesn’t mean you should start an emo band.
There is nothing wrong with being a nerd.
If you’re going to call it Christian it should look something like Christ.
People who think God has no sense of humor have clearly never farted.
Pizza.
Facial hair will get you lots of attention regardless of what gender you are.
There is no good reason why there should be 38,000 Christian denominations.
Toy Story 2 was okay.
Life would be so much better if people used their brains every once in a while.
Deodorant.
Jesus did not die so that we could send text-messages in chapel.
There is no way that Harry Potter could ever be as good as Lord of the Rings.
Mountain Dew is the urine of God.
It's not right that men are portrayed as being dumber than women - dumbness is clearly gender-neutral.
Batman.
C.S. Lewis was probably right about everything.
Jury duty isn’t that bad.
People should treat God better than they treat anyone else they love.
There is nothing in my life worth complaining about.
Skittles.